She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
