you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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