That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
