I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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