Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
