so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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