Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
