Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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