im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
