I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
