You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
