I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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