So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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