it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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