You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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