dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
