I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
