I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
