yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just had sex on a roof
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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