So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
