i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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