??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want to be your penis for a week.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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