To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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