i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
