if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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