And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
