Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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