I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
