He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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