i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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