In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
