we made out on top of his cat.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
