so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize