i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
