Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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