I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize