don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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