what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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