why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
