Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
