While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
