k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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