I CAN MOONWALK!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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