dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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