sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize