I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize