Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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