He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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