your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
