Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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