I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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