come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
