Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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