Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
