Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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